


I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much, But I Do

by CaptainParisStarr



Series: DiodeShipping Series [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:12:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4660971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainParisStarr/pseuds/CaptainParisStarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set the night after Foggy Pokemon Orienteering, Clemont has a nightmare in which he misses catching Ash with his Aipom Arm and has to watch Ash and Bonnie fall out of his life forever. DiodeShipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much, But I Do

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains spoilers for Foggy Pokemon Orienteering and Battling Into The Hall Of Fame.

_Clemont watched in horror as Ash leapt off of the back of the Drifblim, hoping against hope that he would make the impossible leap yet knowing he would not. Frantically, he launched himself forward, his Aipom arm extending even as Pikachu jumped in after Ash as he fell just short of the wall of the ravine, so close yet too far away to grab hold and haul himself up._

_As the arm grabbed Pikachu, he breathed a short lived sigh of relief as he realized belatedly that the weight was too small. He had grabbed Pikachu... And nothing else! In horror he watched as Ash plummeted down, growing smaller and smaller as he fell, Bonnie thankfully asleep on his back, unaware of her impeding death. Unconsciously, he retracted the Aipom arm, depositing Pikachu safely beside him, but still he reached out for his little sister, and his lover, as they plunged together out of his life forever._

_“Ash! BONNIE!” Clemont screamed leaning farther and farther over in a futile attempt to catch them as they fell, not realizing that he was leaning too far out until he slipped and began falling as well. “ASH! BONNIE! BON-”_

 

“-NIE!” The scream still reverberating in his ear, Clemont's eyes snapped open only to find Ash's hovering mere inches away.

 

“Clemont! It's okay, we're here, safe. We're both safe.” For once Ash understood what had happened without anyone needing to explain things to him as a soft thump let Clemont know that Bonnie had also jumped down from the top bunk she had claimed for herself. Ash reached for him as Bonnie approached the other set of bunk beds.

 

“Brother? Are you okay?” She asked, her voice small with worry, as she crawled into her brother's bed for the first time since she was a small child.

 

Instead of answering, Clemont grabbed Ash and Bonnie and pulled them both close to him, shaking. “I almost lost both of you today...” He eventually whispered.

 

“Lost us?” Bonnie was confused; no one had had the heart to tell her just how close she had come to dying after she had awoken, safe and sound on the correct bank of the ravine, surrounded by her friends.

 

“Bonnie...” Serena shook her head minutely as she emerged from the bathroom with a glass of water. “Here, drink this.” She handed the glass to Clemont once he had calmed down enough to swallow the water without choking.

 

“Thank you.” Clemont smiled weakly at Serena as he handed her the empty glass, his eyes wide with unshed tears. Then he turned and buried his face in Ash's shoulder, glad he was not wearing his glasses for once as they would have only gotten in the way as he began sobbing in earnest.

 

“Brother?” Bonnie glanced over at Serena, uncertain what she could do to help.

 

“Bonnie, let's go outside.” Together, they headed for the small porch of the cabin, just as a knock sounded at the door.

 

“I heard reports of screaming; is everything okay in here?” Sycamore asked the second she had the door open, not wasting any time in getting to the point.

 

“Everything is under control; but no, things are not okay.” She slipped past Sycamore, pulling Bonnie behind her before closing the door, not wanting anyone else to see Clemont cry. “Something happened today that we should have reported but... But we didn't want to worry everyone. The reason why Team's Froakie and Squirtle were late crossing the finish line was because we were jointly engaged in a rescue mission. Bonnie had wandered off and gotten lost in the fog. We found her on the other side of the ravine, asleep as she had been hit with an Amoonguss's Spore.

 

“We launched a daring rescue, with Ash leaping across a bridge of Drifblim to rescue her, but his return trip with Bonnie almost went horribly wrong as he misjudged the last leap and fell short of the ravine wall. Pikachu jumped in after them, and was able to grab Ash before Clemont grabbed Pikachu with his mechanical Aipom arm, but...” Her grip tightened on Bonnie's hand as the younger girl looked up at her with wide eyes. “If Clemont had missed grabbing Pikachu...” She broke off as everyone understood what she was saying.

 

“Oh... Then the screaming...?” Sycamore asked slowly, as his mind connected the dots.

 

“That was Clemont. He hasn't actually told us why he was screaming in his sleep, but I think he was dreaming about that moment, about missing and losing his sister and his... best friend, forever.” She had to choke down the word 'lover' as no one but her knew that Ash and Clemont were lovers. Even Bonnie didn't know yet.

 

Sycamore nodded, understanding lighting his eyes from within. “I would like to talk to Clemont, and to Ash; from what you told me that sounds like a very traumatizing moment. Nightmares are to be expected, but I want to make sure that there will not be any other after effects, for anyone involved.” Then he glanced down at Bonnie. “But I think I'll start with Bonnie and give Ash some more time to calm Clemont down. I assume that is why we are having this talk on the porch?” Serena nodded as Sycamore knelt down until he was eye level with Bonnie.

 

“What do you remember?” As Bonnie talked about following the mysterious Pokemon through the mist, being hit by Spore, and waking up surrounded by her friends, her eyes kept flickering back to the door as though she was anxious to go to her brother's side.

 

“So you have no memories of falling? You were still asleep at that time?” Bonnie nodded, and Sycamore breathed a sigh of relief that the youngest person involved had suffered the least damage. “That is good. Don't worry about your big brother, he will be fine.” Standing, he turned back to the door, then towards Serena. “Well, time to check on the boys, but I'm not going to talk to them until tomorrow. It will be better to wait until the sun is up before asking them to relive that moment, especially if they are as close as they seem to be.”

 

Serena nodded, and led the way into the cabin on silent feet, with Sycamore following close behind her. “Guys, Sycamore would-” She broke of with a startled gasp as blood rushed to her face.

 

 

Meanwhile

 

“Ash... Oh Arceus, do you have any idea how scared I was today? For a second there I'd thought I'd lost both you and Bonnie...” Clemont broke off as a fresh wave of sobbing shook his thin frame.

 

“It's okay, we're both safe. I was scared too, scared that I had failed you; failed to keep your sister safe...” Ash felt a few tears trail down his own face as he wrapped his arms tightly around his lover.

 

Eventually, Clemont's sobbing slowed to a stop and he raised his head until he could just make out Ash's face though the mist of tears still trailing slowly from his red-rimmed eyes. Turning away, he grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the table, and wiped his eyes until the remaining tears were gone and he could see again.

 

“Clemont, come here.” Ash wrapped his arms around his lover once more, nuzzling him from behind. “We are both here, safe and sound. I didn't fall into the ravine, you saved me, and you saved Bonnie.”

 

“Yes, I... I know that I did but... Oh Arceus that dream was realistic... I think I really would have gone in after you had I missed...”

 

“You...? No! Clemont, you must not think that! The others would have stopped you from following.” Ash broke off to take a shuddering breath. “I don't want you to even think about dying. Even if you had missed, know that I would want you to go on living. You still have so much to live for; your gym, your inventions... and think about how badly your father would take the news of the loss of not one child but two.” Ash shook his head frantically. “No matter what happens you cannot follow me beyond the boundaries of this life. Promise me that!”

 

“Ash... I promise.” Clemont did not know if he would be able to keep such a promise, but he said the words his best friend and lover needed to hear. “I promise I won't follow you in death if I have any choice in the matter.”

 

“Thank you.” Then they were kissing, slow, tender, passionate kisses that they both craved like oxygen as fresh tears coursed down both their cheeks making the kisses taste salty but neither cared as they forgot about everything but each other. They didn't even know who had kissed who first, because both of them needed to reconnect with each other that badly.

 

They didn't break apart for air until they heard Serena's voice calling to them, followed by a soft gasp of surprise.

 

“Serena, what... Professor! Sorry, we didn't hear you come in...” Ash's face flooded with heat as Clemont scrambled to find his glasses as everyone was blurry except Ash.

 

As the boys recovered from being interrupted, Sycamore turned back to Serena, who was trying in vain to keep Bonnie from seeing what Ash and Clemont were doing. “I would like to talk to them in private, so please wait outside.”

 

Serena nodded and left again, dragging a reluctant Bonnie after her. Sycamore waited until Serena had left before turning back to the bed. “Serena told me about what happened at the ravine, but not about...” Sycamore gestured towards them with his hand, blushing softly. “She said nothing that indicated that you two liked each other... romantically...”

 

“We asked her not to tell anyone.” Ash whispered as Clemont turned bright red.

 

“Does Bonnie know?” Sycamore asked just as the girl pushed past the Professor and entered the room properly.

 

“Brother? What were you doing with Ash?” Bonnie's face was screwed up with confusion as she looked back and forth between Ash and Clemont.

 

“We were... kissing. Bonnie, you know how I keep asking you to stop asking women to marry me?” Bonnie nodded. “Well, I don't need your help to find someone because I have Ash.”

 

“Ash will marry you?” Bonnie perked up at that thought and there was hope in her blue eyes as she turned back towards Ash.

 

“I don't know about that; we haven't discussed marriage. But maybe, if things last long enough.” Taking a deep breath, Clemont continued. “All I know right now is that I care very deeply for Ash and that he cared deeply for me. Maybe we'll get married when we are older and maybe we won't but our caring for one another will never change.”

 

Bonnie nodded then ran up to Ash and gave him a big hug. “Take good care of my brother.” Then she let Serena finally heard her back outside to allow Sycamore to have a private talk with the boys.

 

“How long have you two been... uh...” Sycamore blushed, uncertain how to phrase his question.

 

“About two months now. You know how Clemont likes inventing things? Well he uh... he caught me kissing another boy and built me a gay sex-toy machine only it exploded and since then we've been lovers and uh... No, Bonnie didn't know until tonight.” Ash explained, blushing hard.

 

“And Serena?”

 

“She's known for about a month, after she uh... saw us do a little bit more than just kiss...” Ash confessed, whispering now. “And she still hasn't quite come to terms with Clemont being my boyfriend as she has feelings for me herself.”

 

“Oh. Anyway this really isn't what I wanted to talk to you about. Some of the other teams heard screaming coming from this cabin and Serena told me it was you who was screaming. Clemont, are you okay? Is there anything you need to talk about?”

 

Clemont began to shake his head, then stopped and looked up at Sycamore. “I just...”

 

“You're scared. Did Ash and Bonnie really almost die today?” Sycamore asked gently and all Clemont could do was nod.

 

“And you had a nightmare about them dying?”

 

“Yes. I was back there, on the edge of that ravine watching Ash make an impossible leap. Pikachu jumped in after him and in reality I caught Pikachu after Pikachu had caught up with Ash, but not in my dream. In my dream I only caught Pikachu and had to watch the two people I love more than life itself fall out of my life forever...” Suddenly Clemont stopped talking as his cheeks heated up. Did I just confess to being in love with Ash? No, no, no... Shit! I haven't said 'I love you' to Ash yet... Taking a deep breath, Clemont tried to calm his racing heart, but all Ash did was hug him tighter.

 

“I see.” Sycamores eyes darted over to Ash, then back to Clemont. “Well, if you need to talk, just say so. I have to go check out that ravine and see if there is anything I can do to prevent anything like this from happening again. But first, Ash are you okay?”

 

“Yes, I never doubted for a moment that Clemont would find a way to save me.” Ash replied sincerely. “I'm scared, but not for myself.”

 

Nodding, Sycamore stood. “I'll look the other way if you two wish to share a bed for the next few nights, but I must ask that you refrain from doing anything more while at camp. I hope you understand?”

 

“Yes. We weren't planning to, anyway.” Clemont whispered, blushing hard. “I don't want Bonnie to see or hear us doing that.” He added after a few seconds of silence.

 

“Of course not.” Sycamore nodded, satisfied. Then he turned and left without another word, worried about Ash and Clemont but knowing that there was nothing more he could do to help them.

 

“Ash...?” Serena asked as she led Bonnie back to bed.

 

“Yes?” Ash asked as he slid out of Clemont's bunk to grab a drink of water.

 

“Are you going to return to your bunk for the rest of the night?”

 

“No. I think Clemont needs to feel me next to him to keep any more nightmares at bay.” Ash explained, quietly praying that Serena would understand. The last thing he needed was another fight over why Clemont and not her.

 

“I see.” Serena had to blink to keep the tears out of her eyes as she knew once and for all that things were official. Bonnie knew now and that made things painfully real to her.

 

“Serena, don't look so sad. One day you will find someone who will treasure you the way you deserve to be treasured. And anyway, I think that Miette might like you.”

 

“Miette?” Serena looked at Ash blankly, then she gasped. “Ash! I'm not a lesbian!” But even as she protested, she felt oddly flattered that she could attract the gaze of another woman, even if it wasn't what she wanted.

 

Or was it? As she watched Ash crawl back into Clemont's bed and wrap his lithe body around Clemont's from behind, spooning him, she couldn't help but wonder what she would do if Miette really did like her that way.

 

Tucking Bonnie back in, she returned to her own bed and deliberately faced the wall, determined to ignore the fact that Ash was in Clemont's bed and not hers. But as she fell back asleep she felt a couple tears slid down her cheeks unnoticed by anyone else.

 

 

“-And the winner is Team Froakie!” Sycamore announced amidst the roar of the crowd as Pikachu's Thunderbolt knocked out Tierno's Squirtle. “Team Froakie has made it into the Hall Of Fame. However, after carefully reviewing recent events, I have another announcement to make. As many of you may recall, neither Team Froakie nor Team Squirtle made the podium for the Pokemon Orienteering Race; and there is a valid reason why that is. One of the members of Team Froakie ended up getting separated and lost in the fog and instead of taking the lead in the race, Team Squirtle chose to help locate the missing teammate, without any hesitation or regret. Their actions may well have saved lives that day and to reward them I have decided to induct Team Squirtle into the Hall Of Fame as well for their bravery and compassion!”

 

This time the roar of the crowd was deafening as the members of Team Squirtle looked at each other, shell-shocked. Then one by one they grinned and hugged one another, happy beyond words for the honour being bestowed upon them.

 

As Sycamore spoke about sacrifice and helping others in need, the two rival teams joined together for group hugs amongst applause from the other teams, who did not know what happened but were happy for them nevertheless.

 

 

“Ash, are you sure about this?” Clemont whispered two nights later as Ash led him away from the camp as the crescent moon shone down on them.

 

“We haven't had sex since before arriving at the summer camp; the walls were too thin and someone was shy about doing it in the bathroom or sneaking out of camp for a little love making. Yes, being allowed to sleep with my arms around you was nice but...” Ash broke off, sighing. “After a couple nights it just got frustrating that we couldn't do more.”

 

“Ash...” Clemont was at a loss for words. “So this is just about you needing to get your rocks off then?”

 

“NO!” Ash was shocked that Clemont would even think that. “No, Clemmy. It's about us needing to fully reconnect with each other. Do you really think that we wouldn't have ended up making love that night if we hadn't been interrupted when we were?” Ash asked gently.

 

“But neither of us was in the mood for sex...”

 

“No, but sex doesn't always have to be about, well... sex. That night it would have been about you needing to feel my heart race as my sweat slicked body moved over yours so you could know for sure that I was still alive. It would have been about calming your fears once and for all.”

 

“Ash...”

 

“I love you. Clemont, I love you. Now let me prove it to you, please.” Clemont was surprised to hear the pleading tone in Ash's voice; never before had he pleaded for sex and had always respected Clemont's right to say no, at least since the night Serena had joined them.

 

“Ash, you don't have to say that just because I... I love you.”

 

“So that is what you meant when you told Sycamore that you'd almost lost the two people you love more than life itself. I was wondering but didn't want to ask. And I'm not just saying that, I really do love you. I realized that as I fell and felt you catch me. Looking up at you from deep in that ravine, that was when I knew that what I feel for you is love. Hell, it might even be true love.” Ash laughed nervously. “When Bonnie asked if we were gonna get married, I wanted to say 'yes' but... But the idea scared me as well.”

 

“Ash! You don't... The idea of getting married scares me as well but for you... After what you told me of your past, I wouldn't expect you to ever want to get married and tie yourself down to one person who could just end up hurting you again. Even if that person is me.” Stepping closer, Clemont wrapped his arms tightly around Ash. “We are still young, and marriage is a huge step to take, a huge commitment. Bonnie will just have to be patient and understand that this is our choice, not hers.”

 

Laughing, Ash twisted around until he could kiss Clemont's lips softly. “Don't worry so much. But... I am happy that you remembered what I'd told you and...” Ash shook his head, unable to find the words to show Clemont how much his had meant to Ash.

 

Leaning closer, Clemont stole another kiss, then he pulled away, blushing. “I... If your still willing to bottom with me I'm... Willing to try.”

 

“Clemmy, yes. I can talk you through it if you need me to, but I'm sure that you will do fine.” Turning around, Ash braced himself against a tree, but made no move to undress and had to suppress a grin when he felt Clemont's hands tug his boxers down immediately. Stepping out of them he then spread his legs as far apart as he could.

 

“Ash, all I need you to do is let me know if I do anything that hurts you. I've never done anything like this before, and...” Breaking off, and blushing hard, Clemont turned his attention to the bottle in his hands. Uncapping it, he squeezed a liberal amount of lube into his hand and then slid a slick finger over the outside of Ash's opening before he had a chance to chicken out.

 

When Ash moaned softly instead of pulling away, Clemont felt the last of his doubts leave him, and his resolve harden as he slipped the finger inside Ash properly without any further hesitation. Finding Ash to be looser than he had expected, Clemont added a second and third finger without encountering any resistance or having Ash cry out in pain. However, knowing his own size, he added a fourth finger and pulled Ash as open as he could with a scissoring motion before he was satisfied that Ash was ready.

 

“Clemont...” Ash gasped the name out as the fingers were removed from his ass and his lover froze. But all Ash added was: “Just like with Serena, go slow and find your rhythm. There is no need to rush through this.”

 

“Okay, Ash, I'll remember that.” Clemont pressed a soft kiss against the nape of Ash's neck, then rubbed some extra lube over his own hardened member before lining himself and gently pushing himself inside his lover until he ran out of length. “Does this hurt?” He held his breath as he waiting for Ash to reply.

 

“No, fuck it feels amazingly good.” Ash panted out. “Now, move before I go crazy.”

 

Laughing softly, Clemont slowly began thrusting into the boy he loved so much he felt his heart would explode if his love grew any deeper, or any stronger. Encouraged by Ash's moans, his pace increased as his confidence grew, but he resisted the urge to ride Ash hard and fast, knowing that such a pace would only tire him out. Instead, he made love to Ash, only speeding things up enough to ensure that they could both cum even as Ash started jacking himself off in time with Clemont's thrusts.

 

Despite quickly tiring out, Clemont held back as long as he could, loving the feel of Ash's ass wrapped around his cock and not wanting the night to end. Because in the end, Ash was right; he needed this to know for certain that this was not just a dream, that he had not lost Ash that day.

 

But try as he might, Ash undid all his plans as he came, splattering cum over his own hand and the tree he was braced against as his muscles unexpectedly tightened around Clemont. Two more thrusts was all it took before a rush of warm seed filled Ash's ass and Clemont pulled out, panting.

 

“See, you didn't hurt me. I knew you wouldn't.” Ash spun around and kissed Clemont gently on the lips.

 

“No, I didn't. Ash, why didn't you tell me that it feels that good to top?” Clemont returned the kiss with a smile. “Not that I want to give up bottoming entirely. Both feel good to me and I can't choose which I like more.”

 

“I prefer bottoming, to be honest, but I love topping when its you underneath me.” Then Ash yawned loudly. “Anyway, we can talk about this more tomorrow night. For tonight, lets get back to camp. I need to start training seriously again for my Shalour City Gym Battle. Korrina is only going to get stronger the longer I wait to challenge her, so I need to be ready for her.” Hand in hand, they turned back to the camp after cleaning themselves up, Ash excited for his upcoming Gym Battle and Clemont just happy that the boy he loved loved him back.

 

End.


End file.
